Cooking, Slicing, Trimming, Merging, Migrating, and 20 Crypto Jokes

This crypto week, bitcoin price dropped, and so did the mining difficulty, and we learned that “exclusive mining” can also be used for tax evasion and money laundering. Then, SUSHI trimmed some of its losses after FTX CEO agreed to take over the admin keys from Chef Nomi, and then SushiSwap migrated from Uniswap to its own decentralized exchange, taking hundreds of millions of dollars in liquidity with it. Also, somebody sent USD 1m to Swerve Finance contract, Binance revealed a new feature to prevent such mistakes, bitcoin bull Tim Draper suddenly shilled BCH, which turned out could’ve been a hack, Polkadot trimmed its losses as it settled in the top 10 club, and Coin Metrics found that the 7-day average adjusted transfer value of ETH for the first time since 2018 surpassed that of BTC.

A report said ethereum whales almost doubled their holdings in a month, another report said nearly half of the examined companies showed no evidence of a problem they claimed blockchain solved, a Morgan Stanley executive said central banks might be driving a generation of investors to bitcoin, and Kraken warned September is the worst month of the year for BTC price. Speaking of Kraken, it’s set to return to Japan, while its competitor Bitfinex and others invested in Lightning Network-based LN Markets. Meanwhile, Digital Currency Group took over Luno exchange for an undisclosed sum, and Standard Chartered chose Ant Group as its tech partner, not Ripple. The Croatian Post issued a crypto postage stamp and Ethereum-based ‘Postereum’ digital token, and South Koreans could do away with plastic ID, with some of the biggest companies vying for a stake in the market, while the country’s police conducted a second raid in five days on Bithumb.

And now, enjoy your weekly crypto jokes.
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Morning, CT! Always a pleasure seeing you.

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CT, how did it feel when the market went down?

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But it went back up a bit, didn’t it?

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Amateur. Sleeping, pft…

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Relationship goals.

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Oh, it looks…eh, contemporary.

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Next bitcoins everywhere.

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Oh, you poor pupcoin.

BTC since Jan 2018 from r/CryptoCurrency

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Aaaand, it’s not gone.

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Oopsie.

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Well, it doubled in a year. Now it only needs to triple. And a bit more. Sleep well!

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If you go down to greet your grandparent, they’ll probably give you a dollar to buy a chocolate.

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DeFi jokes time!

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I thought the answer was ‘DeFi’…

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Lucy is not having any sushi.

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What does one do to not pump it?!

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Hmm, yeah, that looks about right.

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And this is why experts are better than us mere mortals.

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Yield farmer in the wild.

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And your weekend video for the end. As one commenter said, “this should be a Monty Python sketch.”