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Things in Crypto We're Freaking Out About
With a nod to Sam Bankman-Fried, CoinDesk staff crowdsource their fears, anxieties and disappointments — for your enjoyment!
Updated Jun 14, 2024, 3:52 p.m. Published Aug 18, 2023, 6:48 p.m.
This article is meant to give a little insight into the current headspace at CoinDesk — we’re hoping it becomes a recurring thing. The company recently laid off some of the finest reporters and editors covering crypto, which sucks. No one here is happy.
Could things be worse? It’s hard to imagine. But at least we’re not as low as Sam Bankman-Fried, the disgraced founder of FTX, who was recently thrown in one of the worst penitentiaries in the U.S. after abusing the conditions of his bail.
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If there is a silver lining of the former media darling doing the unbearably petty thing of leaking his former girlfriend and colleague Caroline Ellison’s diary, it’s learning the pill-popping, salt-licking former billionaire is a bundle of anxiety.
Part of Ellison’s testimony in the trial slated to begin this October could be her running list “Things Sam is Freaking Out About” which apparently included money trouble and bad press. Oh, Sam, if only you knew the hole you were digging.
See also: The Faulty Moral Universe of Sam Bankman-Fried | Opinion
In a nod to Ellison and SBF, CoinDesk decided to memorialize some of things we’re freaking out about. Hopefully it won’t be used as evidence in court against us — we’re bad with money, but not criminally bad.
Freaking out about
The DeGods airdrop
The SEC Has No Idea How to Regulate Crypto
JOB SECURITY!
Air-conditioning
Air travel
Mold at MDC, SBF’s new home
Saying goodbye
What is room temp?
Getting replaced by Grammarly
Wasted time on hype around things like AI and LK-99
Humanity’s collective hours spent on YouTube
HBO mashup How To with John Adams
The death of print
The death of my mint plant
Inbox: 32,124 unread
Shibarium says the bridge is fine
$1 billion liquidated in a flash crash: blockchain circuit breakers?
Why does no one say Jiminy Cricket anymore?
My god, a cricket deuteragonist!
Who's going to a 9:30 A.M. screening of “Barbie?”
Life’s imponderables
SEC view on regulating and crypto’s view differs wildly
Lunch munch
Bryan Johnson’s lithium intake
Zeke Faux on pig butchering schemes
“White noise” podcasts
Elon Musk accidentally makes all draft tweets public
How to get a Polygon grant
How to build a personal website with cool crypto features
How to do FedNow/Dropp micropayments
“In the long run we are all dead,” and other bad reasons for monetary reform.
Note: The views expressed in this column are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of CoinDesk, Inc. or its owners and affiliates.
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What to know:
- As of October 2025, GoPlus has generated $4.7M in total revenue across its product lines. The GoPlus App is the primary revenue driver, contributing $2.5M (approx. 53%), followed by the SafeToken Protocol at $1.7M.
- GoPlus Intelligence's Token Security API averaged 717 million monthly calls year-to-date in 2025 , with a peak of nearly 1 billion calls in February 2025. Total blockchain-level requests, including transaction simulations, averaged an additional 350 million per month.
- Since its January 2025 launch , the $GPS token has registered over $5B in total spot volume and $10B in derivatives volume in 2025. Monthly spot volume peaked in March 2025 at over $1.1B , while derivatives volume peaked the same month at over $4B.
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